


The Leaves Have Too Much Leisure

by firelordmerlin



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Arthur is dead, Dead Arthur, M/M, Post-Canon, gwaine is dead
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-08-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:15:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26101024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/firelordmerlin/pseuds/firelordmerlin
Summary: Arthur is dead. This fic covers what happens right after the show ends!
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Kudos: 11





	The Leaves Have Too Much Leisure

**Author's Note:**

> This was my first ever fic. It's pretty crappy and I would say I've improved much since I wrote this. Follow my [Twitter!](https://twitter.com/firelordmerlin/)

Merlin sat on the grass, eyes focused on the Lake of Avalon which seemed too calm for the tears that poured out of Merlin's eyes. The only sound you could hear was Merlin’s weeping. He ran out of tears and gasped, tears clogged his throat. His sclera was such a vibrant red that it could have been made out of radioactive pigments. Merlin couldn't move if he tried. His arms were leaden around his knees. He let out a scream so loud that someone could hear it at the opposite end of the lake. Before Merlin knew it, the sun crept from the horizon; it gave the pale blue water streaks of orange and yellow. He stared at the sun with disgust.

"Of course you're all giggly," Merlin mumbled to the sun as he shook his head.  
Merlin turned his head around in a few directions and took a deep breath. His heart sank to his stomach.  
I could have saved him! If only I acted sooner. I should have killed Mordred when he was young. I shouldn't have placed mistrust in Morgana. Maybe she'd still be the kind person she is if it wasn't for me. This is all my fault! Merlin thought as he looked at the grass. He felt anger and guilt well up in him. The grass was too vibrant. He ripped out a handful before tossing it back and forth between his hands, he threw it angrily. It landed meters away without making a sound.  
Merlin got up, the boat Arthur was in faded from Merlin’s sight hours ago. He took a deep breath and mumbled, "I need to get back to Camelot to announce Ar-". He couldn't finish saying Arthur's name. He started to cry again, this time without tears. He used them all up. "The people need to know," He said to himself in almost a whisper.  
Merlin walked uphill, dreading every step. He didn't want to disturb Kilgharrah; the dragon was old and he deserved some peace before his death. It would be a long walk since his horses fled after Morgana's arrival. She had come to watch Arthur die, but instead, Merlin stabbed her, watching her soul get sucked out of the high priestess. It had been satisfying for Merlin to see the woman who was responsible for so many deaths of innocent people, who had stolen so much from them, to see the life slowly leave her eyes.

He reached the top of the hill, he turned his back hoping that Arthur would be right behind him. Nothing changed. He sighed before devolving into silent tears, mouth agape with the deep sadness dwelling within him. He felt like he allowed Arthur, his best friend, to die. He could have saved him.

Merlin sighed, accepting the fact that he wouldn't see the person he loved more than anyone else for some time.

Merlin dreaded the walk back. It was hot, he walked along the edge of the forest; cooled by the tree's shadows.

Sometimes he'd sit and wait for Arthur to yell at him for being lazy, or give him new tasks. He'd sit and wait until he was brought down when the only thing that replied was the wind.

Merlin was lost in his own head, his body walked on autopilot.

The sky turned to a pale blue. The trees surrounding him looked happy, while Merlin grew tired of everything around him being so joyful, even the grass looked happier than he had the chance to be. How could they be so happy when the king is gone? Not forever, Merlin reminded himself. But still gone.

He didn't walk for long but soon found a familiar figure peeking through the trees. Morgana's remains were still and lifeless, her black dress contrasting against the greens and browns of the forest. Her skin turned pale and lifeless, he sighed as he looked at her corpse. "I'm not sure I'm sorry, because you deserved it," said Merlin. He watched a couple of ants crawl over her face, equidistant from each other. He felt strangely detached from the situation.

Merlin sat under a tree for what felt like ten minutes, staring into her cold, dead blue eyes. It was unnerving. He walked over to her and closed her eyes. For a moment, he entertained the thought of burying her, but he was reminded that she had taken the best thing that happened to him and again, of all of the innocent lives she took and went on with his journey back to Camelot.

"I have to announce that Arthur is dead," Merlin said in a loud whisper, his voice cracked from pain. At least I’m making progress, he thought. Being able to say Arthur without crying was an achievement.

He picked up his feet and walked for two hours. It was about noon when Merlin saw two people in Camelot knight uniforms.

"Merlin!" said a voice. He ran closer to see it was Percival, his eyes were red and puffy.

"Percival!" Merlin shouted. The two hugged. "Where's Arthur?" Percival asked. His heart dreaded the answer.

"He's dead," Merlin said, avoiding eye contact. Tears freely flowed from his eyes again.

Percival stood silent as he allowed the news to settle in. Merlin looked around to see Gwaine, his long hair slightly covered his face and his chainmail stained with dried blood. His body, ghostly white and limp. Gwaine's body lay on the grass, peacefully. Almost as if he was sleeping. Merlin stopped talking with Percival and ran over to his friend hoping he was alive.

"He's gone," Percival said, trying not to burst into tears, but failing.

Merlin bent down to check for a pulse, refusing to believe that Gwaine was gone.

"No, he can't be!" Merlin said. His tears welled up once again.

"What happened?" asked Merlin, not letting his eyes off of Gwaine. He had suspicion Morgana had something to do with it.

"Morgana tortured him and killed him," Percival said quickly. Merlin respected that he didn't want to continue speaking.

Merlin didn't respond to the comment. There was nothing to tell.

"Today we lost two friends. That's far too many," said Merlin quietly, looking at the corpse in front of him.

Percival nodded in response.

After looking at the vessel that once held the soul that was their friend, Merlin said, "We should get Gwaine back to Camelot." Percival grabbed Gwaine and put him on the back of his horse. Merlin sat on the other horse, and the trio consisting of Merlin, Percival, and Gwaine's body headed back to Camelot.

Gwaine's lifeless body slid off of the horse, but it stopped mid-drop. Merlin's eyes flashed gold. Percival stared in awe at him for a quick moment.

"You have magic," he said.

"I was born with it," said Merlin. Percival hopped off his horse and put Gwaine's body back where it was. He climbed back onto his horse and Merlin and Percival rode back normally. Merlin stared at the ground.

"I couldn't tell anyone, I hope you understand," said Merlin.

"It's okay, who knew?" Percival asked. His expression turned a little hopeful.

"Gaius, Lancelot, and Arthur, right before his passing." Merlin swallowed, trying to hold back tears.

Percival nodded. Neither of them spoke a word after that the way back.

Gwen stared out the window, the sun’s light made the top layer of her dark brown hair appear golden. She was focused on fretting over if her husband would return back to her and his kingdom.

Nothing new happened. Castle staff roamed around and did their everyday duties and guards kept an eye out for the king's return-- if he did return.

Two horses came into Gwen's view. There were two men that she saw to be Percival and Merlin. They carried, between them, a limp body. Initially, she only noticed the body with them and didn’t fret about the details. Arthur wasn't with them, so she feared for the worst. She scurried to the door and down the steps. She pushed the front door wide open and rushed to Merlin and Percival, who was on the left of the door. Castle staff moved out of the way, stopping whatever they were doing to look at what was occurring. She attained a better look at the body and realized that it wasn't Arthur who was blonde, it was Gwaine, who had long, dark hair.

Gwen took a step back, tears blurred her vision. She stood there, silent.

"Arth-" Merlin said, his voice cracked and he looked away.

"Where is he?" Gwen asked, her voice trembled.

"He's dead," Percival said as he made eye contact with Gwen.

Gwen held the royal seal in her hand and took a deep breath while tears dripped from her eyes.

"I'm sorry," Merlin said, avoiding eye contact.

"It's not your fault, you did everything you could," said Gwen, giving him a reassuring hug.

Merlin embraced the hug in response. Gwen had only said it to make him feel better, she didn't know everything. It was his fault. He could have killed Mordred while he had the chance, he could have called the dragon while there was still time. He didn't. He shouldn't have allowed Arthur to protest and stay there for as long as they did.

After that interaction, Merlin headed to Gaius' chambers, dragging his feet and avoided eye contact with everyone and was rude to people if they dared bump into him.

Merlin stared at the wooden door, taking a deep breath before he entered Gaius' chambers.

"Merlin, my boy, Gwen told me things didn't go well, come here," said Gaius, his arms stretched out on his sides, gesturing for a hug. Merlin walked over to Gaius and hugged the old man.

"It's not your fault," said Gaius as he patted Merlin on the back. He let Merlin go and looked him in the eyes.

Merlin said, "No, Gaius, you don't understand. I could have done so much. I could have called Kilgharrah before he died, I could have killed both Mordred and Morgana. I could have gotten out of the cave earli-". Gaius interrupted, "Now, now, it isn't your fault at all. Even if you did know, you didn't have the heart to kill. It's Mordred and Morgana's fault they killed him. If you don't stop pitying yourself, you can't have your favourite chickpea soup. Now, when was the last time you ate?"

Merlin looked at him, hesitating to speak. "I don't remember," he said.

"Well then eat."

Gaius gestured for Merlin to sit at the table, and Merlin dragged his feet to the table, eating wasn't his priority.

Merlin uncovered the bowl and the chickpea soup came into sight. His hunger caught up to him, digging into his soup with his spoon. His hunger overpowered the feeling in his stomach.

If I die before Arthur rises again, then who will be there to help Arthur? He'll die for the second time without me. Merlin thought, encouraging himself to eat the soup.

The warlock gobbled up the soup as if he hadn't eaten anything good in his life.

"Thank you, Gaius, but I think I'm going to bed. I'm exhausted, even though it's early," said Merlin. He stood up, wiped the soup off of his face, and walked back to his room.

Merlin dropped onto his bed, not bothering to take off his boots and fell asleep almost immediately.

"Merlin, wake up. You need to get ready for people to know that Arthur and Gwaine are dead," said Gaius in a loving and compassionate tone, similar to the one Gaius had when Freya passed.

Merlin rubbed his eyes and came to the realization he slept for a day. He moved his body and sat on the left side of the bed, sitting next to Gaius.

"No, Arthur can't be dead, he will rise again!", Merlin said with a hopeful, but depressing look in his eyes.

"Until Arthur rises again, which no one knows when it'll happen, he has passed. You can't grieve forever, Merlin."

"Arthur will rise again when Albion's need is greatest." Merlin was facing Gaius, making eye contact, but his pupils were expanded and Merlin was stuck in his head.

"Unless that happens in the next two hours, you're attending."

Gaius hugged Merlin, and the old man left the room.

Merlin stared at the wall, and to his surprise, tears came out of his eyes. Despite his attempt to cheer himself up, he didn't know how long he'd go without seeing Arthur. He put on his purple tunic. The last time he wore it, it was at Lancelot's funeral.

After about twenty minutes, Merlin snapped back to reality when the silence was broken by Gaius shuffling around the kitchen. He dragged his feet up and got ready, which took half an hour since he had no motivation.

"Merlin, are you ready?" shouted Gaius from the other room.

"Yes," said Merlin, opening the door.

"Eat your lunch before it gets cold."

Merlin nodded and sat down to eat the chicken. Unlike last night, he was surprisingly slow, barely touching it.

"I'm not hungry."

"Well, you have to eat something, or else you won't have your head straight."

"What will I do that will require me to use my brain?" said Merlin. Pain seeped out of his voice.

Gaius was silent.

Merlin broke the silence by clearing his throat. "Gaius, I'll meet you in the throne room. I have to attend to something first," said Merlin. Gaius raised his eyebrows.

"Don't do anything stupid," Gaius said, and Merlin stood up, nodded, and went to the door, not taking anything with him.

Merlin dashed through the castle. He bumped into servants and got himself soaked in water. He had no plan on attending the funeral.  
Arthur will rise again. Arthur will rise again. Arthur isn't dead. When Albion's need is greatest, he will rise again.

Merlin stopped when he realized how out of breath he was. He hunched over with his hands gripping his knees. He lost track of time and was stuck in his head. He needed some time alone. Yes, that's what he needed.

Merlin sat down under a moderately sized tree, sweat dripped down his face. He didn't think on the journey, but at least he was familiar with his surroundings.

Despite Merlin's exhaustion, he sat there, numb for ten minutes.

"This would be perfect weather for a picnic, don't you think?" said Merlin.

Don't be such a girl, Merlin. But yes, this would be. Thought Merlin. Hoping that if he mimicked Arthur enough, it would bring him back.

Merlin sat there for a while, having an imaginary picnic with Arthur. He pretended to set up a blanket and got some imaginary strawberries out of the imaginary picnic basket, and stuffed his mouth with them. It was a ridiculous idea since the king wouldn't dare hug him, nevertheless go on a picnic with him. They were two men, how could they? However, Merlin could have cared less.

The bright light from the sun faded from a pale blue to blue. It was time for Merlin to go back to his chambers. Gaius would not be pleased with Merlin and he'd probably get a lecture for not attending, or maybe not. He could have cared less.

By the time Merlin arrived, it was dark out, and he used his magic to light the way. He stopped caring who saw him use his magic. Plenty of people saw, and some commoners shouted, "sorcerer", but Merlin didn't care. Merlin entered Gaius' chambers, slowly opening the door.

"Where have you been! I was worried," Gaius shouted.

Merlin shrugged.

"Why didn't you go to Arthur’s funeral! Everyone was wondering where you were. Where were you?!"

"I needed some time to breathe, that's all.”

"Don't do it again. Gwen came by to tell you that she would be legalizing magic and that she would need your help."

"Gwen's going to legalize magic?" Merlin said, his face scrunched up in confusion.

"Yes, you would have known that earlier if you were there. She told me after the announcement. She wants to see you at the round table tomorrow at 3."

"That's great, I'll be there." His face lit up.

"You better not miss this one boy."

"I won't, I promise!"

Merlin went back to his chambers for a good night's rest. For a split second, he felt dead inside.

As Merlin entered his chambers, he paced around his room. He planned out what he would do the next day. Just because Arthur was temporarily gone, it doesn't mean that he has to skimp out on his duties, does it?

Merlin took off his boots, climbed into his bed, and fell asleep almost instantly with a smile on his face.

I'll wake up when the sun comes up and I'll polish Arthur's armor. I need to make sure Arthur's armor hasn't rusted so he can be protected properly. Then, I'll clean Arthur's chambers, that's a disaster. I'll make it to the legalizing magic meeting at 3. After that Arthur and I will talk in his chambers. It's not like anything is going on between us, we're just friends.

**Author's Note:**

> Big thanks to Miley and Raven for helping out on this fic!! I deleted it before actually, but I decided to re-post it. Not because I think it's any good, but rather because I want to see how my writing progresses over the years. I'd say this fic is really terrible, but oh well. Leave kudos anyway, maybe?


End file.
